A student was quietly talking himself through an assignment...

Clayton: This is how you make a cursive capital G...it looks like a pitcher of iced tea...just put some lemon and some ice cubes...HA!

Leila: Mrs. B, why do I hafta put a comma there?

Mrs. B: Well, that's a bit tricky. It's because of the word "too." The problem is, you used to always have to put a comma there because that word means "also" and you'd have a bit of a pause there, but now they sometimes say you don't need it. It is probably best to put it there and maybe the rules will be more clear when you get to high school.

Leila: (slight pause) Um, yeah. I didn't understand a word you just said.

Mrs. B: (noticing a student looks a bit forlorn) What's up, Reed?

Reed: I tried to give Donovan this naked turtle (holding up a rubbery, green toy that has definitely seen better days) and he DIDN'T want it! Who doesn't want a naked turtle?

Allie: Where is Mrs. K?

Mrs. B: She just ran out to photocopy something for me. She'll be back in two seconds.

Allie: (precociously) One, twooooooooo...

My tiny, naughty student from last year popped in today. Keep in mind, this is a student who had a hard time keeping his hands out of other student's desks...

Joey: (holding open an empty zip-lock baggie) Mrs. B, would you like to donate money to people who have no money at all?

Mrs. B: Well, let me ask you something. When you say "people," do you really mean you?

Joey: Nah. My church is trying to buy some lady a goat.

(I am holding a box of stickers that the children are rooting through...)

Reed: Come on, Clayton. Just take the pixie sticker so we can go!

Mrs. B: (reading a note from the nurse) Oh, great. You've all been exposed to chicken pox.

Class: (after a moment of silence, while I finish reading the note) Bwack! Cluck, cluck, cluck. Chirp. Bwack, Bwaaaaaaack!

Leila: What's the date today?

Juan: It's the twenty-oneth.

Mrs. B: Okay, today we are going to be writing poems. Now the key to poems is...

Reed: (interrupting) Oh, man! I LOVE poems...especially the ones about sad ducks!

Mrs. B: Ummm...what?

We were playing a math game that required certain students to stand up. I was trying to give each student a chance to stand, but one overly-enthusiastic boy kept popping up out of his seat.

Reed: Sit down, Jax! You've already had your moment in the spotlight!

Aspen: It stinks in here.

Clayton: Maybe it's you!

Jax: Naw...It's me. I ate beans for dinner last night and I've been tooting all day.

Aspen: (dripping with sarcasm) Well, thanks for sharing!

I was out sick yesterday. This was the first time my class had a sub this year...

Leila: (incredulously) That sub just kept TELLING us the answers to everything.

Reed: Yeah! And you KNOW how we like a challenge!

Sorry for the gap in posts...my internet has been out for more than a week!

Reed: (randomly sharing information that is not related to anything we were doing at the time) There's only one thing that scares me and that's Barney. That dude's creepy. And when did DINOSAURS learn to sing?!

Mrs. B: (speaking to Cassidy) Your hair looks really cute today.

Clayton: (who sits next to Cassidy and has very messy hair) Thank you!

Mrs. B: (during our daily math practice) Okay, Aspen, how did you write the date today?

Aspen: Well, today I wrote it using words...(pause for dramatic effect)...in cursive!

Reed: Woooooo...very fancy!

Halloween day...I decided to play a "spooky sounds" CD while the students worked on a project.

Reed: (after a particularly scary scream) Are you TRYING to make up pee our pants?!!

Mrs. B: What do you call a triangle with three equal sides?

Class: An equilateral triangle!

Mrs. B: Good! And what do you call a triangle with two equal sides?

Class: An isosceles triangle!

Mrs. B: Yes! So, what do we call a triangle with no equal sides?

(No response at all)

Mrs. B: Come on, guys! Three sides, none are the same?

(More silence)

Leila: (feeling the pressure to say something) A snibble!