Ian: Guess what I want to be when I grow up!

Mrs. B.: What?

Ian: A chef...'cause I LOVE bacon!

Lila (a VERY delicate girlie-girl, using an unusually loud voice): Can I get a drink of water? I have a HUGE loogie in my throat!

Zach: (very excited) Mrs. B! Guess what! I found a really gross piece of lint in my pocket this morning!

Mrs. B: And you're telling me this why?

Zach: (still very excited) I wanted to make my day more interesting!

Mrs. B: David, you really should consider becoming a philosopher when you grow up.

David: What's a philosopher?

Mrs. B: It's a person who sits around all day thinking deep thoughts about the universe and the meaning of life.

David: Oh. I thought that was a hippie.

Overly assertive girl in back row: Cody, pull up your pants. I can see your butt!

Student #2: You shouldn't say that!

OAGIBR: Why not? It's true!

Student #3: What are you doing looking at his butt?

(Loud peals of laughter from entire class.)

(Side note: anything with the word "butt" in it is hilarious to a 3rd grader.)

Mrs. B: (Walking outside to find the children going crazy...jumping around, hollering, etc.) Okay. We aren't moving until you guys get your act together.

Ian: Cute and cuddly, boys! Cute and cuddly. (The line immediately snaps into place.)

(Note: The "cute and cuddly" line is from The Penguins of Madagascar and has become something of a classroom motto.)

Jacob: (interrupting a lesson) Mrs. B! Mrs. B!

Mrs. B: Yes, Jacob?

Jacob: I have to 'member you something!

Mrs. B: Okay. What is it?

Jacob: Uhhh...(long pause) I forget.