Tiny, Sweet Girl: I don't WANT to do this math. It's haaaaaard!

Mrs. B: How lucky for you! It's a chance to learn something new! Now get busy and stop whining.

Tiny, Sweet Girl: (under her breath but loud enough for me to hear) You're el diablo.

Mrs. B: Oh! Look at that. I got bitten by a mosquito.

Student: That's nothin'. I got bitten by a vampire!

(I gave the students an assignment: write a four line rhyming poem and illustrate it. The following is what one student turned in...)

My name is Donna.

I have a pet piranha.

My piranha ate my iguana.

Now my iguana is gonna.

(This was accompanied by a drawing of a little girl crying at her fish tank while the fish inside burped.)

Mrs. B: (after looking in the mirror and noticing a huge black mark across my face) Umm, would anyone like to explain to me why NO ONE told me I had this huge black mark on my face?

Melayna: Yeah, we thought it was hilarious so we decided not to say anything.

Mrs. B: How long has it been there?

Melayna: All day.

(Our class made Mother's Day cards today.)

Mrs. B: Jason, this is a very nice picture of your mom on your card but why is she crying?

Jason: 'Cuz she's so happy.

Emily: I put my hamster on my mom when she was sleeping and it scared her and she flew it across the room.

Kaitlyn: Awww, poor hamster!

Emily: It's okay. It landed on its feet.

(While teaching long division for the first time)

Mrs. B: So, Dakota, we've divided two into five. What is the next step?

Dakota: I don't know. I can't hear you 'cuz Tessa won't stop yapping at me.

Tessa: HEY!