Mrs. B: Everyone please take your seat. I need to take roll...

Jax: ROCK AND ROLL!!!

Mrs. B: ...and what do we call two words that mean the same thing?

Lauren: Cinnamons!

Clayton: Mrs. B, my tooth hurts.

Mrs. B: Is it loose?

Clayton: Yes.

Mrs. B: Yeah, that hurts sometimes. I never liked losing my teeth.

Clayton: Especially your grown-up teeth, I bet!

Mrs. B: Um, yeah. I still have all my grown-up teeth.

Clayton: Oh. My dad doesn't.

Mrs. B: I don't really know what to say to that.

Clayton: That's okay. You can't know everything!

During math class...

Mrs. B: So if my paycheck is one thousand dollars, and I need to save for...

Kaylee: You get paid?

Mrs. B: Ummm...yes.

Kaylee: You get paid to be a teacher?

Mrs. B: Well, technically, I get paid to torture you, but sometimes I do a little teaching.

(giggles around the room)

Kaylee: I can't believe they pay you to hang out with us!

(Note: I'm not sure if I should be flattered or worried that my students think I'm just "hanging out" with them.)

Clayton: Mrs. B, I'll give you $100 if you let me go home.

Mrs. B: Okay.

Clayton: Okay, but I get to go home FIRST, then I'll pay you the $100.

Mrs. B: No way. You have to pay me first, then you can go home.

Clayton: But my money is at home.

Mrs. B: Well, then, I guess you're out of luck.

Clayton: How about if I give you a free pencil?

Lee: Dude, she's a teacher. She has, like, a million pencils!

Don't you just love when children answer rhetorical questions?

Mrs. B: Pardon me, but I was talking. Why are there people chatting with each other right now?

Katie: Because they're rude.

During math, I gave a "hint" to one of my students...

Aspen: (to me) Oooooooh! That's cheating!

Raven: No, it's not. It's only cheating if you're the one who's LISTENING.