I was walking in the hallway with my new students when one of them asked my age...

Mrs. B:  Well, let's see, I'm 47.  No.  Wait.  I'm 48.  (pause)  No, 47...wait...umm...

(Two of the students exchange looks of concern.)

Natalia:  That's okay, Mrs. B.  It doesn't matter how old you are.  You're already losing your mind.

One of the first things I teach in math is the concept of time.  Specifically, I teach the meaning of a.m. and p.m.--ante meridiem and post meridiem.  Getting an 8-year-old to pronounce these phrases is somewhat  of a challenge...

Mrs. B:  So, yesterday we learned what a.m. and p.m. stands for.  Does anyone remember what that is?

Madeline:  I do!  It stands for ante mnem-mnem-mnem.

The students were creating timelines of their lives.  This is a great activity because it generates a lot of conversation and bonding in the class.  Sometimes, it's just a case of TMI...

Braxton:  I was born on a Sunday and my mom said it was raining that day!

Brady:  I was born with a bunch of yellow junk all over me!

Colton:  Oh, yeah!  Well my mom said I was born with a cone head!

Braxton:  (checking out Colton's head)  Yeah, I can see that.

The first day is always interesting...

Mrs. B:  So I see I have two Johnathans this year.  Do you both like to be called John?

The Johnathans:  Yes.

Mrs. B:  Okay.  Is there anyone else who likes to be called something other than the name I wrote on your name tag?

Carter:  Yes.  I'd like you to call me "Catnip."

Mrs. B:  Wha...?

Nahla:  (interrupting)  Yeah!  And I want you to call me "Nay."

Braxton:  I want to be called "Bray!"

Michelle:  Call me "Peanut."

(Students all begin shouting out weird nicknames made up on the spot.)

Mrs. B:  Ummmm...I think we need to start over...

I tend to get a lot of former students visiting during "meet the teacher" night.  One highly precocious student from last year stopped by for a brief chat.  Keep in mind, this child is nine...

Mrs. B:  So how about those test scores!   You exceeded in reading and math!

Emmett:  Yup.  I knew I would, but my sister...(shakes his head in disbelief and chagrin)...she's dyslexic.

Mrs. B:  Really?  How do you know?

Emmett:  Oh, I just know.  But I think if they put her in the gifted classroom, she'd bump up.

Mrs. B:  Interesting analysis.  Are you planning on being a teacher when you grow up?

Emmett:  (horrified at the thought)  Oh, no.  Teachers don't make enough money!

Hi, everyone!  School is back in session the second week of August.  Rumor has it that I have some, well, let's call them "energetic and unique" students this next year.  The good news is, they are always the funniest, so it should be a good year for 3rd grade philosophy.  

It is getting to be a bit crazy.  The kids are sassy and everyone is ready for summer break...

Mrs. B:  (In response to a smart-alecky remark)  Whatever.

Wyeth:  Whatever?  That's all you got?!  Whatever?!