It is our winter break as of this afternoon. I won't have any new posts until school resumes on January 3rd. Whatever holiday you celebrate this season, may it be a happy one! Cheers!

While reading "T'was The Night Before Christmas..."

Mrs. B: ...and laying his finger aside of his nose, and giving a nod, up the chimney he rose...

Tyson: (complete wonderment) How does he do that?

Joey: Uh, duh! Christmas magic!

...after eating gobs of holiday junk food at our party...

Wyatt: (sticking out and jiggling his poochy belly) Look, Mrs. B! I look like Santa!

Mrs. B: Dakota, I understand that while I was out sick yesterday, you got into a lot of trouble. Do you want to tell me why?

Dakota: Yeah, I just couldn't get my act together.

Chloe: (pointing to the word "harass" in the dictionary) What is this word?

Mrs. B: What does the definition say?

Chloe: (reading aloud) " To annoy again and again." Oh! My sister does that!

First, I'd like to formally apologize to everyone for the inordinate amount of fart humor on this blog. All I can say is...third grade.

On that note, I was teaching at the front of the room today when there was a very long, loud pants-explosion from a student in the first row. The room immediately went into fits of giggles (those who were far away from the perpetrator) and groans of disgust (those who were close.) It really was a terrible odor that quickly filled the room.

Joey: I'm SORRY! I ate eggs this morning and they didn't agree with me!

Wyatt: Were they ROTTEN eggs?!!

Overheard in the hallway...

Student: We TRIED going hunting with my mom but she just kept making breakfast and holding us back!

...during our morning "quote of the day" discussion...

Mrs. B: So what we all have to realize is that you can't become the president by lying around on the couch all the time...

Joey: You can become the president of lazy!

During a discussion about where everyone should sit to reduce the talking in class...

Mrs. B: You know, when I was in school they always put me next to the noisy boys because they knew I wouldn't talk to them. Plus, if you did talk, they would paddle you in front of the whole class.

Matteo: My dad says that's how school should be now.

Mrs. B: Hmmmmm...

Class: (complete indignation) Hey!!!

Mrs. B: Oh, wait! I have one more thing I want to teach you.

Tucker: I don't really want to learn anymore. It makes my head hurt.

During a readers' theater production...

Narrator: ...and then the prince kissed the princess...

Mrs. B: (interrupting) Now, you obviously don't have to kiss each other, but I thought it would be funny if everyone made a kissing noise here.

Prince: (with great enthusiasm) Oh, I'll kiss Jocelyn! That's for SURE!

(Jocelyn, the Princess, turns beet red as hilarity ensues.)

Jayden: I haven't broken my arm once, and I do dangerous things!

Mrs. B: Well, don't.

Jayden: (pause, thinking...then a maniacal look enters his eyes) I'm gonna try over Christmas break!

Joey: What's that smell?!!

Jayden: It's Lizbeth's feet.

Wyatt: Yeah, they smell like hamsters if you get a good whiff of them.

...the difference between 3rd grade boys and 3rd grade girls...

Matteo: I have a headache from hitting myself on the head.

Ava: Hmmm...instant karma.

Matteo: (pause, thinking) Good comeback.

We were reading about how quarters have changed since the 1790's...

Lizbeth: Were you alive when the quarters were like that?

Mrs. B: NO! We are reading about 1796! How old do you people think I am?! Quit asking me that!!!

(A moment of silence, then stifled giggles around the room.)

Student: Man! We're all riled up like wild banshees today!

We had a little ruckus with a student today and I had to use my "serious" teacher voice. After escorting him out of the room I walked back in...

Mrs. B: Okay, does anyone else want to tangle with me today!?

Wyatt: No, I don't want to tangle with you AT ALL!

So...the assignment was to write a haiku poem. Haiku poetry is generally about nature and consist of three lines with a 5-7-5 syllable pattern. I was very clear with the students that this poem needed to be about something found in nature. Here is what one of my "gifted" students wrote:

There's a fuzzy cow

Big and fat eat it at home

Yummy tender steak

Notice that the cow is begging "please don't eat me."

Now here is one that blew my mind:

leaves are very green

cold nights turn them all yellow

then they will fall off

Mrs. K was leaving for the day...

Class: Bye, Mrs. K!!!

Mrs. K: Goodbye! See you all tomorrow!

Dusty: (sighing) There goes the Grammar Queen...

We were playing a game which requires the students to sit at each other's desks when they get the answer wrong...

Joey: (shouting an answer) 48!

Mrs. B: Nope!

Joey: Awww...gross. I hafta sit in a GIRLIE seat!

Apparently, butts are the topic of the week...

Eliza: Mrs. B, look at the sentence I wrote for our spelling word "crack."

I see a butt crack.

Mrs. B: (pause) I really don't know what to say...

Eliza: I know. It's creative, right?