Mrs. B:  (turning around to find that the children are no longer in line)  Hey!  What happened to my straight, quiet line?

Eddie:  (looking at his unruly classmates)  I guess we're just uncivilized today.

Naughtiness has been on the upswing lately as spring has arrived.  I was having a conversation with a student from another class about this very thing when I learned that idioms don't always translate well when conversing with third-graders...

Student:  Have your kids been bad, too?

Mrs. B:  No, I brought the hammer down the first time they tried being naughty.

Student:  You should bring the hammer down on their knee.

Mrs. B:  Oh?  And what would that do?

Student:  (pause)  Well, it would teach them a big lesson, that's for sure!

There was a noticeable "aroma" in the air today...

Wyeth:  Ewwwww!  Eric farted!

Mrs. B:  Oh, like you've never farted!?

Wyeth:  Oooooohhhooo...I've farted.  One time, it was so bad that it made my dog barf right there on the carpet.

Dakota:  (Listening to a conversation between two boys)  Wyeth sure is short but his sarcasm is tall!

Announcement over the intercom:  ...And the grand prize winner of the "be excellent" contest is...Kayla Wilson!

Connor:  Huh.  How do you like that?  They mispronounced Connor Jessup.

Jason:  I had a nightmare last night.

Mrs. B:  Really?  What was it about?

Jason:  There were zombies and they were chasing me.

Mrs. B:  Well, you know zombies aren't real so it wasn't that bad, was it?

Jason:  (not convinced)  I dunno...you were one of the zombies.

Mrs. S:  Oh, I see we have a new student in the room.  What's your name?

New Student:  Eric.

Mrs. S:  Hi, Eric.  My name is Mrs. S and I'm the school counselor.  Did you have a counselor at your last school?

Eric:  No.

Mrs. S:  Would someone like to tell Eric what a school counselor does?  (looks for hands)  Yes, Zane!

Zane:  Well, she gets to butt into people's business...