Picture the sweetest, pinkest, most cotton-candy little girl you've ever seen...

Heather: (wispy, soft voice) Mrs. B, Joey just called me a butt-munch.

Mrs. B: (in disbelief) What?

Heather: Joey called me a butt-munch. Actually, he called us all butt-munches.

Mrs. B: Joey, could I see you outside for a moment?

(outside)

Joey: Yes?

Mrs. B: Did you call everyone (hesitating)...butt-munches?

Joey: Yes. (smiles ever-so-slightly)

Mrs. B: Joey, you can't call other kids...butt-munches.

Joey: I can see you smiling.

Mrs. B: Okay, so I'm having a hard time not smiling. The fact remains the same: You can't go around calling other kids butt-munches. It's just not nice.

Joey: Okay.

(Joey heads back into the room while I take a two second pause to regain my composure.)

Joey: (to class) Okay, you're not butt-munches. (pause) You're losers!

Class: MRS. B!!!!!!!