Dakota:  (Listening to a conversation between two boys)  Wyeth sure is short but his sarcasm is tall!

Announcement over the intercom:  ...And the grand prize winner of the "be excellent" contest is...Kayla Wilson!

Connor:  Huh.  How do you like that?  They mispronounced Connor Jessup.

Jason:  I had a nightmare last night.

Mrs. B:  Really?  What was it about?

Jason:  There were zombies and they were chasing me.

Mrs. B:  Well, you know zombies aren't real so it wasn't that bad, was it?

Jason:  (not convinced)  I dunno...you were one of the zombies.

Mrs. S:  Oh, I see we have a new student in the room.  What's your name?

New Student:  Eric.

Mrs. S:  Hi, Eric.  My name is Mrs. S and I'm the school counselor.  Did you have a counselor at your last school?

Eric:  No.

Mrs. S:  Would someone like to tell Eric what a school counselor does?  (looks for hands)  Yes, Zane!

Zane:  Well, she gets to butt into people's business...

During a lunchtime conversation about the upcoming Easter weekend...

Jason:  Easter's boring.  I'm gonna invent a new holiday called Big Day.  It's a day when your parents have to give you something big!

I'm not so sure what this says about moms...

Mrs. B:  (pointing to a globe)  See, here is where we are and here is Ireland and here is Israel.

Dakota:  Wow!  Look at Russia!  No wonder they call it Mother Russia.  It's HUGE!

We have been using an economy system in the classroom for a couple of months.  Today, we took the average starting teacher's salary, made a budget, and had an eye-opening discussion about money.  It became clear to the students that money management can be difficult and "extras" may need to be cut.  

Fast forward to evening when I ran into a student at the grocery store.

Emmett:  Hey!  Mrs. B!!!!  MRS. BEEEE!!!

Mrs. B:  Hi, Emmett!  How are you?

Emmett:  Fine.  I saw you using coupons like we talked about!

Mrs. B:  Yes. (holding out my receipt)  And look at what I saved.

Emmett:  Twenty-seven dollars!  That's good.  (lightbulb)  Hey, now you can pay your cable bill!

Today's post is more somber than usual.  One of my students has a little sister who is fighting cancer.  Around the holidays, she started getting better but then had a big, unexpected set-back and is now back in the hospital.  My student, Lillian, has had to move in with her grandmother while her family stays in the city where the hospital is located.  Today, she submitted this for her writing assignment (write about a memory):

The students were required to write a report about something they had learned about the ocean and animals that live or hunt there.  Here is a sentence from one student's report (student spelling included):

Seels lay on the beach alot and they fart alot.

I was vaguely aware that a debate was occurring about the best desserts.  I wasn't really tuned into the conversation until...

Jason:  I can't eat that.  I'm toast intolerant.

Mrs. B:  You're...what?

Jason:  Toast intolerant.

Dakota:  (seeing a look of confusion on my face)  I think he means "lactose intolerant."

Mrs. B:  Oh, thank goodness.  For a moment I thought he actually couldn't eat toast.

Dakota:  Yeah, that would be weird.

Some teachers let the children come into their classroom in the mornings before school starts.  I don't.  It isn't that I'm being mean.  It's just that I need those precious few moments to prepare for the day.  My students know this.  Still, they like to test the waters every now and then...

A small group of students: (peeking through the window and banging on the door)  Mrs. B!  MRS. BEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Mrs. B:  (calmly, in a sing-song voice)  Go away, little darlings...

Kendra:  Can we come in?

Mrs. B:  No.

Dakota:  But we come in peace!

Mrs. B:  You're gonna BE in pieces if you don't go out to the playground right now!

Dakota:  Man, I really thought that line would work.