Chloe: Mrs. B, I made this picture for you. (It is a picture of a clown.)

Mrs. B: Thank you, Chloe! It's beautiful! I love it!

Chloe: Has anyone ever made you a picture like this before?

Mrs. B: No. This is the first one like this. Would you put it on my desk for me so I'll know right where it is?

Chloe: Okay.

A few minutes later, Chloe returns with the picture in hand...

Chloe: You know, you can feel free to put this on the bulletin board out front.

Mrs. B: What is today's date?

Class: (in unison) August 23rd, 2010!

Mrs. B: Good! And what was the date exactly one week ago?

Class: August 17th, 2010!

Mrs. B: Great! And what will the date be exactly one week from today?

Class: August 31st, 2010.

Mrs. B: And what is due on August 31st, 2010?

Class: (still in unison) Our book reports!

Mrs. B: (noticing a student who is daydreaming) Wyatt, what is due one week from today?

Wyatt: (a look of confusion and desperation crossing his face) Kittens?

The class is silent as they take a spelling test. All of a sudden, there is a faint noise coming from a student's backpack.

Mrs. B: Okay. Who has the cell phone?

Joey: (frantically trying to get into his backpack) It's me! It's me!

Mrs. B: Joey, cell phones aren't allowed at school.

Joey: (hesitates) It's...It's not a cell phone.

Mrs. B: (disbelieving) Oh, really? What is it?

Joey: It's a cricket.

Hours Later...

Chloe: Mrs. B., Joey keeps trying to put a dead cricket down my back!

Mrs. B: You need to do both sides of this math page.

Round-faced little boy: No, I don't. You said we only had to do one side.

Mrs. B: (Who tends to forget things easily these days) Are you sure about that?

Round-faced little boy: (pointing to his head) Yes. I have a weel good memowee.

Tattletale Girl: (pointing to fellow classmates) Mrs. B., these guys are being talkie-talkersons.

Sorry for the lapse in posts...it has been a ROUGH start this year!

Mrs. B: (To the entire class) You only have 10 minutes left. If you're not close to being done, you better chop, chop, lemon drop!

Ten seconds pass.

Tiny, bespectacled boy: (Loud, high-pitched karate noise) HIIIIIIIIIYAAAAHHHHHH!

Overheard while walking in line to lunch...

Student #1: Are the people in Tokyo just waking up?

Student #2: Yeah, unless their already up and running away from Godzilla.