During a math class...fake money is all over my desk...

Dennis: Is that money real?!!

Several classmates: (explaining in exasperated voices) No, she wouldn't use REAL money for this!

Dennis: (not believing his classmates) But, Mrs. B., is that money REALLY REAL?

Mrs. B: Why, yes, Dennis. I just happened to have over one thousand dollars lying around on my desk.

Dusty: SARC MARK!!!! That sentence would have a sarc mark at the end! She's being sarcastic!

Joey: Mrs. B, may I please have my reading book? (Joey had lost the right to have his things in his desk due to some naughtiness.)

Mrs. B: Certainly!

Joey: Did you notice I said "please?" Pretty impressive!

Mrs. B: Yes, yes I did notice. Thank you for that.

Joey: I'm also pretty cute, too.

Mrs. B: Bye, girls! Have a great fall break! BE GOOD!!

Kylie: We're not making any promises!

This happened in another teacher's class...thankfully. I don't know if I could have kept my composure.

Mrs. V: So we have a president for a leader in our country. What kind of leader did the ancient Romans have?

Student: A dictaker!

Dakota: Hey, Mrs. B., come smell this!

Mrs. B: (without looking up) Um...no.

The mobile zoo was at our school today...

Zoo presenter: Can anyone name an animal that is a predator?

Shouts from audience: Tiger! Lion! Snake! Bear!

Zoo presenter: Yes! Now, I want to call on someone who is raising their hand for this next one. Who can name a prey animal? (pointing to one of my students) Yes. You there in the red shirt...

Dakota: A banana?

Teacher sitting behind me: (softly, so only I can hear) You're so lucky...

Zoo Presenter: ...and what do Tigers eat?

Mrs. B: (under my breath) Small, naughty children.

Dusty: Hey! That's not nice!