Mrs. K is standing at the back of the room, handing out stickers to the students as they leave. They have crowded all around her and she is swallowed up in the mayhem.

Student: (to no one in particular) Man! We look like a bunch of gerbils at feeding time.

The students had been asked to bring in three items that represented who they are to show to the class.

Sam: (whipping out two goofy-looking, stuffed dolls) Okay, so my grandmother bought these for me and if you hit them, they say stuff.

Mrs. B: Does anyone have any questions for Sam?

Leila: Yeah, do they have names?

Sam: Oh, yeah. You know how when you get a stuffie, the rule is you have to name it? Well, this is Nick and this is Gary.

Mrs. B: I didn't realize there was a rule about "stuffies."

Sam: (nodding, completely serious) Oh, yeah.

We were happily working on place value math when...

Antonio: Mrs. B? Where did you get this stuff anyway? Easy-peasy math dot com?

Mrs. B: Ummm...

Sam: Hey, Antonio! Why don't you go to be quiet dot com?

(Note: This, of course, resulted in everything we said for the remaining forty minutes of the day ending in "dot com." Ex: I need you to sit down dot com. Hey, may I sharpen my pencil dot com?)

Cameron: Hey, Mrs. B! What's the date today?

Mrs.B: (trying to seize a "teachable moment") I don't know...what is the date today?

Clayton: Ooooh! Ohhh!! I know! I know the date! It's August 29th. Wanna know how I know? Because I said to my mom...I said, "Hey, Mom, I want corn dogs for dinner on August 29th." And we're havin' corn dogs TONIGHT! That's how I know it's August 29th!

(Complete silence in the room as everyone tries to absorb the logic in this.)

Coming in from lunch...

Tiny student from last year: Hey, Mrs. B! I'm all sweaty! Wanna hug me?

Mrs. B: Not really.

Tiny Student: Okay, but this is your only chance!

Mrs. B: I think I'm good...but thanks!

Two gifted students in my class were arguing over the proper way to assemble their project...

Clayton: When you talk, all I hear is "Weird, weird, blah, blah, blah..."

Evan: That's okay. When you talk, all I hear is brain cells dying.

This little exchange happened while a bunch of teachers were watching the students board the buses after school.

Student: Ms. R! Guess what I found out today!

Ms. R: What?

Student: Nearly ALL of my classmates are ticklish!

Ms. R: So, I see you are following the "keep your hands to yourself" policy.

Student: (three second pause) Ummm...oh! There's my bus! Bye! (Student runs off)

Mrs. B: Nicely done.

Ms. R: D'you like that?