I sent a student to have his temperature taken because he wasn't feeling well.  I thought it would be a good teachable moment...

Mrs. B:  Can anyone tell me what a normal, healthy human being's temperature should be?

Lily:  98.6 degrees Fahrenheit!

Mrs. B:  Yes, that's right!  So if Cody has a fever, his temperature will be above 98.6 degrees.

Lily:  What if he's right at 98.6 degrees?

Mrs. B:  Then that means he's normal.

Bronson:  (Cody's best friend)  He may be 98.6 degrees, but he is NOT normal!

More counselor fun...

Counselor:  Okay, Malcolm, why don't you tell us what you learned about your new buddies in class?

Malcolm:  Well, Davin wants to be a baseball player and Kaleb wants a teleporter when he grows up.

The school counselor was talking with the students again...

Counselor:  So, I want to pair you off for this next activity and you will be paired with someone you wouldn't normally hang out with so you can practice getting to know someone new.

Jason:  (unhappily)  What happens if we don't like them?

Counselor:  That's the whole point!  In life, you have to work with people you may not like very much.

Jason:  (trying a different approach)  Okay, what happens if they PICK THEIR NOSE!?

This week in reading we had a story about a farmer...

Mrs. B:  So, the question is...would you like to be a farmer and you have to tell me why or why not.  Kendra, what do you think?

Kendra:  Yeah, I think it would be cool to plant stuff and watch it grow!

Mrs. B:  Good reasoning.  How about you Jason?

Jason:  Sure.  I could feed my family.

Mrs. B:  Another good reason.  Kaleb, what do you think?

Kaleb:  No.

Mrs. B:  Okay, but you have to say why.

Kaleb:  Because you get dirty and I don't like baths.

Cody:  You give us too much work.

Albert:  Yeah!  It's not fair!

Mrs. B:  (a bit tired and not in the mood for complaints)  Oh, quit your whining.  It's your job to do school work.  Just like it's my job to teach you.  Besides, every paper you do, I have to grade--and there are twenty-seven of you and only one of me!

Cody:  (under his breath but loud enough for me to hear)  At least you have more work that me...so THAT'S fair.

Cody:  I can't write cursive E's.  I hate cursive E's!

Mrs. B:  Really?  Because they love you.

Cody:  Well, I hate them!  (wallowing in a bit of self-pity)  The only thing I'm good at in school is recess.

Wyeth:  Yeah, but you're the BEST at recess!

Mrs. B:  See, there.  That's something.

Cody:  Yeah, but it doesn't help me with cursive E.

A long time ago, I used to paint murals for a living.  I have painted a small design on one wall of our classroom.  Today, a student was examining it...

Kendra:  Mrs. B, will you paint dolphins on the wall of my bedroom if I steal my parents' credit card and give it to you?

Mrs. B:  That's not really a good idea.  I don't think your parents would be too happy about it.

Kendra:  They'll never know.  They have lots of credit cards.

(Note to self:  Find a way to subtly warn Kendra's parents about hiding their wallets...)